I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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