I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
