Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well I just put wine in my tea
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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