My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
