He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
