Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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