I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize