You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
