North Korea, Best Korea!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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