wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
