He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
