The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I know her cup size but not her name....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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