is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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