I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
