I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
