it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize