Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
