So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize