Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
