That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
