I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
