i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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