i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize