blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
