she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im holly from the hills drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
