I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
