uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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