so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
