I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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