summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
