Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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