epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
