Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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