dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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