So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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