He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
