I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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