Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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