Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
