It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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