I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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