Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
