I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
