he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
