I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
