shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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