I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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