Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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