She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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