Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
