I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
