I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
