What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
