maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
