Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
