You really coming over, don't trick.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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