the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
