also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
