Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
