I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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