Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
