So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
