You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
