wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
