So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
