Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
