I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
